Ahhh where to start....
Dad spoke with me about the situation with mom. His dissatisfaction and sadness with the whole situation makes me wall up my feelings.
I find it conflicting in situations like this that I don't feel much. I think it is a way I deal with the stress of it all. Just sit behind a wall of stoic indifference. Years of practice has made me a pro at this.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to feel. I mean *really* feel.
Between my indifference and my nature to avoid conflict I really don't want to do anything about the situation with mom and dad. Further I just find myself avoiding other opportunities in my life as well. It really isn't a good way to deal with problems.
I should start dating. But I don't want to feel. Rejection.